Current Events

Big Butts and Better Hiring

Posted by The Resumator under Current Events

Big Butts and Better Hiring

Researchers at the University of Oxford and Churchill Hospital in the United Kingdom have concluded that people with bigger, uh, backsides may actually be healthier than those with more-slender fannies. Hey, we didn’t make the science up, we just know what it means for better hiring! You can read more about the study and its findings here.

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In an overly simplified nutshell, the researchers found that not all fat is created equal. Fat cells stored in the lower portion of the body actually provide greater protection for a person. We don’t just mean for sitting down either, it protects against “diabetes, heart disease and other conditions associated with obesity.”

We think the message is loud and clear for HR professionals.

Bigger the butt, better the hire

It’s science. Big butts now equal better health, so you need to adapt your hiring practices accordingly. After all, how good is a sick workforce?

Genetics play a major role in how our bodies store and burn fat, but that doesn’t mean you have to  sit idly while your employees fluctuate in size, all thanks to silly reasons like:

  • personal choice
  • genetic disposition
  • lifestyle

Take charge! We don’t suggest hiring people entirely based on the size of their booties, but it should probably make up 85-90% of your final decision. Again, science backs this up.

But I already have a great group of employees!

Well, you can’t just fire every Slender Sally and Skinny Jimmy. There are probably laws against that practice. However, just because big ol’ government doesn’t like you hiring and firing based on backsides, that doesn’t mean your business must suffer.

Try implementing some “employee improvement” practices.

Lunges only - No walking allowed. If you need to fax something or fill up that cup of coffee, you now lunge your way there. Does this burn calories? Sure, but it should also make those office booties pop!

Free donuts dipped in bacon fatSomeone will like this. That someone will gain weight. Success.

No salads allowed – Under no circumstances shall a salad, or vegetable of any kind, be allowed on work premises. Unless you employ rabbits and deer, your kitchens have no room for these calorically void booty traps. 

Better hiring through science

We’re not saying every scientific study makes sense to adapt for the HR world, but this one was pretty easy. Butts and better hiring go hand in hand! What could go wrong?

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What do you think? Is this HR science correct? Let us know with a comment below or express your mind on FacebookTwitter or LinkedIn.

 

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